A Lesson in Trust

We continue to be amazed at how God provides.

Before Alli and I began our home study I was deeply struggling with the cost of adoption. The more Alli and I researched adoption, the more the costs seemed to add up. At times it was paralyzing as we looked at the numbers. We both felt strongly that this was something God was calling us to. He had been at work in our hearts, giving us his heart and passion for adoption. He had also been revealing to us in times of prayer that this was going to be his provision for our family. Alli was ready to move forward. I was much more hesitant. I wanted to be obedient to what he was calling us to, but my fear far outweighed my faith.

One morning I was driving in to work and the Lord began dealing with me on this issue. Let me give you a little background though before I continue:

2 years ago I began praying that the Lord would increase my faith. I desired to live a life that was truly dependent upon God’s provision and action in our lives in all areas including finances. The Lord had continually been reminding me that I had prayed for this, and that this was the time. But I was not ready.

This past winter the Lord laid on my heart to read through the book of Jonah. I read through it one morning prior to going to work. I read through it each morning for a week. At the end of the week the Lord revealed to me why he had led me to that book. I was living in the spirit of Jonah - running from what he was calling me to do, yet showing me that if I would just do what he asked, even if it did not do it full of faith, that he was going to do much more than I would have dreamed to pray for.

I thought that was a cool lesson…but not enough to move me past my fear.

So, back to that morning in the car when the Lord began to deal with me once again. As he and I were going back and forth on this issue, he brought to memory the story of the young boy who brought before Jesus five loaves and two fish. Enough to feed one person, but nowhere near enough to make a dent in a group of five thousand. He pointed out the fact that we had enough set aside to complete the home study, and that we were to use what we had to begin our journey. I told him we couldn’t because if he did not come through and provide then this could ruin us financially. He told me to bring my fishes and loaves and allow him to do his part.

I should have listened much sooner.

Our home study had only been complete for only two weeks when God provided the finances for us to begin our next phase of this journey. This past week Alli and I signed on with Christian Adoption Consultants. This is an extremely exciting time for us as we continue to travel this journey together. Soon we will begin applying to a few more agencies which will give us more opportunities to get our profile in front of expectant mothers. From this point forward the wait time could be between 6-8 months before we bring baby Goble home. But, it could also be much sooner than that. We aren’t in control of the timing, but we don’t need to be. God is continually shaping us and teaching us throughout this process. He is also revealing to us more of himself and his character. He is gracious, and he is slow to anger. He is abounding in love. And he is good. He is so good!

For those of you who have been a part of his provision. We cannot thank you enough. We have been amazed by your generosity, and we are so grateful for your sacrifice of love. May the Lord bless you richly as you have blessed us.

Jonathan